The Ones That Wait

After being home for a few weeks, it's impossible for me to describe how much I miss my daughter.  I have several projects that I'm trying to work on to keep myself busy, but every time I pass by her room I dream about what it will be like when she's sleeping there (or when she's up screaming in the middle of the night- probably more accurate).

But something else has been on my heart and mind lately as well.  Waiting children.  The ones that no one is lining up for, the ones that see parents come and go with their kids, the ones left in the orphanage long after the planes fly away home.

Most adopting families are open to healthy infants. There are many reasons for this, most of which are very well thought out and even backed up by research.  Most social workers and attachment therapists do not endorse disrupting birth order by adoption, and many families feel that they don't have the resources to parent a child with special needs.  These are both very valid concerns, therefore many adoptive families are limited as to what age and special needs they feel they can accept. If you are in the process to adopt a healthy infant right now, and you have prayed about your parameters and know that you are following God's will for your adoption, then you are exactly in the right place. I am in no way writing this post to make anyone feel guilty or "less than" because they are called to healthy infant adoption.

But I think there is a segment of families that could be open to older children or special needs, but for some reason they don't think they are capable, or they haven't even considered it.  That was where we were when we started the process.

When I was younger, and even when we were first married, I prayed that God would bless me with many healthy children.  I think that pretty much every new bride prays for healthy children before she gets married, and any pregnant mom of course prays that her new baby will be healthy.  It was only natural for me to pray that my children would be free from health concerns, and adorable of course.  I told God, "I will have as many children as you have planned for me. But I don't want to adopt."

When I realized that God was calling me towards adoption, I prayed, "Alright God, I can do this. I will adopt. But I don't want an older child. I want a baby."

Fast forward a little over a year.  We had completed our home study and dossier, and were finally on the wait list for a boy or girl, 0-24 months.  Then I went to an amazing conference and met a mom my age who was bringing home a 4.5 year old boy. I felt God tugging at my heart again. "Ok God, I will be open to an older child. Or two of you decide to bless us with them. But I don't want to be open to special needs."

Fast forward again to about 9 months later.  We had updated our parameters to boy, girl, or a sibling set of the same gender, 0-3.5 years old.  Then, as I wrote about in this post, two waiting children changed our hearts. I finally said "yes" where I had been saying "no". And that's how God let us to our daughter.

The moral of this story, at least for me, is that I can't tell God what I won't do anymore.  I'm focusing on my baby girl- she will need all of me when she gets here.  But I can't stop thinking about what God has in store for our family... who the next child to join us will be.  It probably will be years from now, but I can't stop praising Him for opening my eyes to the children I never saw before- the hidden ones, the ones waiting for us.  

Truth is, our H was one family away from being a waiting child.  Now, I'm not naive; I know she would have been snatched up in an instant.  But the reality is there are hundreds of children that won't be chosen.  Because they are older, or have HIV, or Down Syndrome, or missing limbs, or hearing loss, or a million other things that in America could mean a life of therapy, surgeries, or medicine. But in their home countries they don't even get a life.  Many won't survive.  The ones that do will be stuck in a life that is no life at all.  Orphanges.  Institutions.  Mental Health Facilities.  Not families.  No chance to thrive.

I look back, remembering when I prayed to God that my children would be perfectly healthy, and I have to laugh at the way things have worked out.  I don't need perfect children. I want to witness the miracles that parents of kids with special needs get to witness. I want to experience the healing that parents of older adoptees get to experience.  We've already seen how H's story has inspired others.  Because we said yes, and I pray that we will continue to say yes, we get to know God's goodness in a new and incredible way. Yes, we are still figuring out all the details- insurance, medical costs... but every day I have to choose to trust God that he will provide for His calling. It won't be comfortable or convenient, but what if we had missed it?

I am so sick of hearing Christians argue over who should be president, or if gay marriage should be legal, or if Calvinism is more correct that Arminianism. We're missing it people! There are children waiting for us; waiting to show us the meaning of joy, the meaning of healing, the meaning of redemption.  Not everyone can adopt a waiting child.  But some can! And I pray that until we can bring another child home, I can advocate for the ones that are still waiting.

Here are some of the resources I've learned about during this process:

Rainbow Kids  -  A photo listing of waiting children from different agencies.  Most of these children have some type of special need, ranging from life-long medical conditions to things like cleft lip or birthmarks. Lots of older kids on this site waiting for homes as well. (You have to register in order to view the children) There are over sixteen hundred children listed here.

All God's Children International  -  Our adoption agency (who we love!) currently has waiting children in Eastern Europe, China and Africa. Here is an amazing Waiting Child Video from AGCI that I just stumbled across yesterday!

Reece's Rainbow  -  An organization dedicated to advocating and raising funds for waiting children with special needs. Many of these precious children have Down Syndrome or are HIV+.  No password or registration required! Not everyone can adopt, so Reece's Rainbow lets you make tax-deductible donations to a specific child's adoption fund! How cool is that?

I know that my blog readership is slim, and not every family is called to adopt.  But I pray that at least one person reading this would consider opening their home to a child with special needs. It could be the blessing you've been waiting for.

Trip One, Day Five- Saying Goodbye

Read about day one here.
Read about day two here.
Read about day three here.
Read about day four here.


The dreaded day had come- Our last day with H. I have been dreading this day since before we even saw her picture. Knowing that I would have to leave my daughter, now legally mine, in another country was ripping my heart out.

But let's focus on the positive! We had breakfast as usual and arrived at Hannah's Hope to find H in her pink room with her special mothers. She actually seemed happy to see us today! She let me pick her up and didn't start crying immediately! H likes to be around us, but only when there are no special mothers in sight. As soon as she sees one, she cries and reaches for them. This is a good thing! But the special mothers knew that we wanted some alone time with her today, so they let us take her outside to play with the older kids! It was so sweet, if one of her "special" special mothers walked by us, they would cover their faces so H wouldn't start crying and reaching to them. Have I mentioned how much I love these women?

H with one of her very special Special Mothers

We spent what seemed like hours holding H and playing with the other kids. We seriously fell in love with these older kids. Older child adoption may be in our future! But I'm not thinking about our next adoption yet. Yes I am. No I'm not.

I could tell that H was getting sleepy, so I went over to the swings and we swung until H fell asleep in my arms. This is the best feeling ever... Feeling her weight on my chest, smelling her beautiful curls, seeing her tiny hand grasping my necklace. A dream come true.

We were privileged to witness an amazing moment- One of H's buddies, "W" was meeting her parents for the first time today! It was such a special moment, and I loved getting to meet another family that I had talked with so much online before our trip!

I passed my little lovebug over to her Papa so he could get in some last-day cuddles. It is so sweet seeing how much he loves her.

When H started to wake up, we walked back up to the baby house and went up to her room. We played there for a while but realized that since this was our last day with her, we really just wanted to be alone. We walked outside again to the courtyard and hung out with W's family for a bit.

With W and her mom, Mindy!

I managed to get H back into the sling which I think she really likes! She quickly fell asleep again, and I knew our time with her was drawing to an end. Almost like a foreshadowing of our emotions, the skies opened up and it began to rain.

As I walked back up the stairs to H's room, her sleeping head resting on my shoulder, I reflected on the past week. I feel like I've known her forever but I only met her a few days ago. Now that she has my heart, I have to leave her on the other side of the world. It's not fair. But many things in adoption are hard, and this is just one of the things we have to endure; she has endured much more in her short life.

I sat in the rocker and stared at my daughter. She was slowly stirring and I had a brilliant idea- "Someone get me a bottle!" A special mother quickly grabbed one and handed it to me. I couldn't believe it- she was finally letting me bottle-feed her! She would slightly open her eyes and look into mine- those eyes! Black, deep, piercing... I have never seen eyes like this in my life. She knew it was me and decided not to cry. Her gift to me on the last day.

We were blessed that she woke up for a bit before we had to go. Chris got to comfort her and walk her around the room as she woke. Then the dreaded moment was here. Danny came in to let us know it was time, and we both started crying. I told myself that I would hold it together, I didn't want to scare her. But I just couldn't. Our tears were flowing, and she started crying. Her three special mothers, whom we had grown to love, were also crying. They had seen how much progress we had made, and I think they were sincerely sad that we would be leaving her. Overcome with emotion, I kissed my daughter and tore myself from the room. Chris said his last goodbyes and we headed to the van, holding each other and weeping.

The rest of the trip is a blur- We packed, we cried some more, we had horrible flights back to the US, and we came home. The only good thing was seeing Pilot after a week- we missed him so much! And that's where we are now. Waiting for embassy news, and missing our daughter more than I could ever imagine. I don't know when we will be back. People ask me every day, and it just hurts to explain that I don't know when I will see her again. But I will keep myself busy until I get news. That's all we can do now.

Trip One, Day Four- Court

Read about day one here.
Read about day two here.
Read about day three here.


Day four was the most important day of our trip. Today we would stand before a judge and declare that we want to be H's parents forever. After our usual awesome breakfast with Will and Rebekah, our driver Danny picked us up at 8:30 to head to our court appointment.

We drove a long long lonnggg way to the court building. Addis Ababa is such a diverse city; we drove through bumpy side streets with tin-roofed houses only to go next through smooth paved roads lined with sky scrapers. We (and by "we" I mean "I") were totally nervous... my heart was in my throat the entire ride there.

When we got to the court offices, Danny dropped us off outside with another member of Hannah's Hope staff. He said a few words to an Ethiopian woman who was escorting another adoptive family to court, and I knew something was wrong. We immediately headed back to the van, and he said, "I'm sorry, your appointment has been postponed."

Um, what?! Postponed? I'm only here for a week people! But I will stay longer! Just tell me what is going on!!

"There is a new judge, and the adoption cases are postponed until after lunch," Danny said.

Oh, I knew that. No big deal, right? Was I dialing my travel agent? Nah...

So change of plans- This is Africa, there are always changes of plans. We headed back to Hannah's Hope to see our sweetie! We had a great day with her! We fed her some cereal again, watched her sleep, and played with the special mothers and the other babies. Will and Rebekah even brought Israel back to Hannah's Hope to pick up his passport and say goodbye to the special mothers, so H got to spend some time with her future husband!

I think I enjoyed this more than she did.

Piggies!!

What a dad!

H and Israel... I think love is in the air!!
Marriage contracts may or may not have been signed...

Almaz came in and told us that they would take us back to the hotel for lunch, but we just wanted to hang out with H! We had brought some granola bars and water in our backpack that day, so we just ate those and asked to stay until court. (We were supposed to go to an Italian restaurant that day, but due to our court mix up we didn't get to go.)

Around 2:00 it was time to head back to court, so we drove and drove and drove back into downtown. We climbed the 5 flights of stairs to get to the waiting room outside the courtroom. There we sat, with about 20 other couples from all over the world, waiting to hear our fate. There were families from the US, France, and the UK. Everyone was fidgeting with a nervous excitement as we waited for our names to be called.

After seeing a few families go into the courtroom and come back out with happy tears, our nerves were slightly eased before they called our names; it was finally our turn! We walked back into the courtroom, which turned out to be a small office with about 5 desks crammed inside. On the nearest wall to us were two chairs to which we were directed to sit.

The judge, sitting at her desk to the right of us, pulled our file and began looking over it. "Have you seen H? Do you know other families that have adopted Ethiopian children? Have you learned about Ethiopia so you can tell her about her heritage? Do you understand that this adoption is permanent, and that it cannot be reversed?" We smiled and said "Yes ma'am" to each of her questions.

"Then everything is in order, and I am happy to tell you that she is yours forever."

She stamped our form, and we both burst into tears. Ok, I burst into tears, Chris wept a few manly tears. We hugged each other as we walked out of the courtroom, proud new official parents of H!

We passed!

After court, we grabbed some Cokes and coffee with Danny at a nearby cafe. We were so surprised that they even brought out incense for a quick cup of coffee. Danny said it was a symbol of Ethiopian hospitality. We then went on our next adventure, shopping!

Ethiopian Coke tastes way better than American Coke!

Mini Coffee Ceremony

We bought souvenirs for ourselves, our families, and most importantly, gifts for H as she grows up. Shopping was an interesting experience for me because I am not a good haggler, and prices are always negotiable in Ethiopia. I left the bargaining to Chris! After our purchases were made, Danny took us back to the hotel for the rest of the day.

We said goodbye that day to Will, Rebekah, and Israel, along with another family that we traveled with; they were headed home forever! Two more children no longer orphans. We long for the day that we will take that journey with H! We loved having travel buddies, and hopefully we will get to meet more families on our Embassy trip as well!

We ate dinner at the restaurant that night (Vegetarian pasta and "Healthy Vegetable Sandwich"- both very good!) and tried again to get some rest before tomorrow- our last day with H.

Trip One Day Three- Hannah's Hope and Yod Abyssinia

Read about day one here.
Read about day two here.



Day three of our journey of a lifetime started like yesterday- breakfast with Will and Rebekah! Our hotel had a breakfast bar (the french toast was pretty good when they had syrup!), but I mostly just stuck to the porridge. Yum. After breakfast we headed back upstairs to wait until 9:30 to go see our girl!

Danny picked us up right on time and we headed to Hannah's Hope. We didn't see the babies outside today, so we figured H must be up in her room. We entered the house and climbed up the stairs to her adorable pink butterfly room, and there she was! She was laying in a little baby rocker, wearing an adorable outfit (I swear the special mothers dressed her up for us). We hung out in her room for a while and then it was time to go play outside! Everyone grabbed a baby (literally) and we all headed to the courtyard.

H loves to play on her belly. So many pictures that we received from other families were of her laying on her tummy playing with toys! We quickly learned that her favorite toys were the most boring ones- balls, tissue boxes, and a particular red rubber hammer that she really enjoyed.

We realized today that we had forgotten to give her the album that we had made for her! We brought a little baby (drool proof) book that we could put pictures in- we included close-ups of each of us, Pilot, and our home. H really seemed to be interested in it, especially the pictures of Pilot! The special mothers loved looking at the pictures too and got a big kick out of Chris trying to explain how big our "woosha" (dog) is.

That's You!

Big Woosha!

We had another first today- our first time feeding H! We got to spoon-feed her some rice cereal, which she seemed to enjoy! I am excited to get her home and let her try some real food though. She's already got two little teeth at the bottom!

After a while outside, the special mothers started gathering all the babies up to go back inside for bottles and naps. These kiddos are on a schedule- they all eat at the same time, sleep at the same time, and wake at the same time. And you hardly ever hear a cry- the special mothers are quick to soothe any upset baby.

Once we were inside, one of H's special mothers wrapped H up in the blanket that we had left for her the previous day. Then they handed me a bottle and handed me H, and motioned for me to sit in the rocker and feed her. I was all for it- but H was definitely against it! She would not let me feed her a bottle. I was OK with this, because I realized that she has a strong attachment to her special mothers and bottle feeding is an intimate thing. So they fed her and got her to sleep, and then handed her back to us. Before we came, I really felt that the special mothers would feel that we were "invading" their space, but they were so sweet, and they really wanted us to bond with H. But they did think we were crazy for wanting to hold her while she was asleep... I guess they thought our arms would be too tired! So we laid her in her teensy crib and went outside to play with the big kids!

That's the blanket we brought for her!

Today we got to meet more of the older kids, who were SO sweet! They all loved to have their picture taken and look at it on the screen. Surprisingly, they all also knew how to operate the camera and went through all the pictures of H that I had taken the day before. We kicked the soccer ball, swung on the swings, and colored, and then we went back inside to see H before we left!

These swings totally scared me! I kept saying "too high! too high!",
but I don't think kids understand that phrase in any language.

When we got back up to the butterfly room H was already awake and playing with her BFF, K! K's family has already been on their first trip (and are actually on their way right now to pick up K forever!). The special mothers told us that H and K love each other and are best friends! Chris and I had a lot of fun hanging out on the floor with them both.

Danny came in pretty soon after that and another day at Hannah's Hope was over. We didn't even try to argue this time because we were exhausted! We drove back to the hotel and ate some lunch at the restaurant's buffet (spaghetti!) before we took a quick nap. We had a big dinner planned for that night and needed to rest up!

Our agency's other driver, Wass, picked us up that night for our cultural dinner at Yod Abyssinia restaurant. This place was amazing! They had delicious Ethiopian food (my favorite!), traditional singing, and cultural dances from the different regions of the country. And I don't mean line dances... these people can dance. Any dance you've seen in America, I swear it originates from Ethiopia. They made America's Best Dance Crew look like the Mickey Mouse Club. These people invented pop and lock.

H is from a northern region called Tigray, and we got to hear songs and see dances from her home! Will you not laugh if I say I shed a tear or two during the performances? H comes from such a rich culture and heritage, it made me sad to think that she will be leaving it all behind. But we plan on incorporating Ethiopia into our lives in Nashville as well.

Before Dinner

Local Beer!

So much fun!

Traditional Coffee Ceremony- Coffee, incense, and popcorn! 

Enjoying our coffee and popcorn

We had a lot of fun with Wass. His dream is to visit Nashville and be a cowboy! He already had a big belt buckle and we told him he would fit right in! Wass was great, he told us about all the songs and dances, explained what each dish was, and took pictures for us!

Wass knew all the moves!

We had a great night. Other than meeting H, this was definitely the highlight of our trip! Wass took us back to the hotel and we went to bed to rest up for our big day tomorrow- court!

Trip One Day Two- Meeting Our Girl!

Read about Day One here.

First of all, I want to give a big THANK YOU to my dear friend Ally for throwing me an online baby shower! H is our first baby, and since we were open to kids up to 3.5 years old, we didn't have anything prepared in advance! I have to admit I was starting to stress over all the things we would need for her but I am so thankful for friends and family that have stepped up to help us out! THANK YOU!!

Now on to day two...

After a surprisingly good night's sleep, we headed down to the hotel's restaurant to eat breakfast. We were SO happy to finally meet up with Will and Rebekah, who were on their second trip bringing their son, Israel Biruk home! It was amazing to have friends there, especially ones who are on their embassy trip because they gave us a ton of great tips! Like ordering porridge at breakfast... yum!

View from our hotel room

Our schedule said we would be picked up at 9:30 to meet H. We headed back up to the hotel room to wait for our driver to arrive. I was a nervous wreck! I had been playing this scene over and over in my mind so much, I just didn't know what do think. Would she cry? Would she be afraid of us? I was a jumble of nerves and my stomach was doing flips. Chris was excited but as usual, a little more calm and collected than I was.

At 9:30 we headed down to the lobby and our driver, Danny, was waiting for us! He was very nice and talked to us about the sights we saw as we drove towards Hannah's Hope.

On the way to Hannah's Hope

The drivers LOVE the kids at Hannah's Hope, and Danny even had pictures of two kids on his van. One was a little girl who came home last year, and another was a daughter of a family that traveled recently. I just thought it was so sweet that Danny keeps their pictures somewhere special!

So sweet!

After a bumpy ride we arrived outside of those famous black gates to Hannah's Hope. This is really happening!! I couldn't believe I was here at last.

Hannah's Hope

Those gates... at last!

Danny brought us in and we saw the babies out in the courtyard with their special mothers, but we were too far away to see H yet. He led us around one of the buildings to meet with one of the office workers there. She immediately started to take us over to the babies and I gave her our camera to take some pictures of this first precious meeting.

We came around the corner to the courtyard, and all the babies were out in the sun, playing or napping. The woman said, "Do you recognize her? Find her." We immediately saw our sweet angel, sleeping in a moses basket. She was so beautiful, I couldn't believe that she was ours.

We walked up to her and knelt down beside her basket, and I immediately burst into joyful tears. We spent the next five minutes or so just staring at her, holding her hands and caressing her sweet face. I looked at Chris and he was crying too.

Our first meeting

Family! 

(Oh how I WISH I could show you her sweet face! She is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. But because of confidentiality issues, I still can't post pictures of her face until after we clear Embassy.)

In a minute, H woke up and wondered who these crazy white people were and why they were up in her face! She didn't cry though, she just looked around and her special mothers for approval. It is obvious that the special mothers really love her, and that she has a healthy attachment to them. We picked her up and played with her for a little while before we had to fill out some paperwork.

After the paperwork, it was naptime for the babies, so the special mothers gave her back to us and we walked around the quiet courtyard with her until she fell asleep in my arms! After she was asleep, we just spent hours holding her and staring at her, learning every little detail about her features.

Trying to calm her for some sleep- My arms were so tired after this!

Our first family photo!

A couple of the older girls came into the courtyard and wanted to play! We got to play with them a little and then we headed into a living room for some alone time with H.

 They loved my necklace!

She slowly started to wake up from her nap, and soon realized that she wasn't in her familiar room. She got a little fussy but we were doing pretty good at calming her down! I even got to try out my sling for the first time and she seemed to like it. She did start crying again and the director, Almaz, asked us to take her back with the other babies so she would be more comfortable. We realized that would be best because we wanted her to be happy on this first trip with us. We have all of the next trip to be alone with her!

Loving the sling!

We brought her back to her room, which is an adorable pink room with butterflies painted on the walls. The babies are assigned to their own rooms with the same special mothers. She even sleeps in the same crib every time. This is great, because it gets the babies used to a routine and promotes attachment. We got down on the floor and played with H and the other other babies in her room!

H's Pink Butterfly Room

After about an hour our driver came in and said it was time to go. We tried to ask if we could stay a little longer, but he said they have to keep to a pretty tight schedule. We were a little bummed, but happy that we had a great first day full of smiles and fun with our daughter!

Blog Hack for a Baby Shower!!!

Hello there friends and family of Chris and Makenzie!  This is Makenzie's friend, Ally, and I have decided to hijack this blog today invite you to CELEBRATE with us the soon-to-be arrival of sweet baby girl H!  


As many of you know, the Bratchers just returned from their first visit to meet and enjoy time with their beautiful daughter in Ethiopia!  Now that they are home, time is limited and they are doing all the last minute preparations for her arrival home!  


This post today is simply to ask you to join so many others in blessing them with an online baby shower!!!  They have registered at Amazon.com and Target.com!  You can shop from your comfy chair and have a precious gift delivered right to their front door!  All you do is type in "Makenzie Bratcher" and find that special item to celebrate this adorable new addition to their family!  Most of the items on Amazon and many of the items from Target qualify for free shipping! Just choose "ship to registry address" to have the items delivered to their home.


Also, join in praying for sweet baby H to be home very very soon!  Thank you in advance for the way you love and encourage the Bratcher family!




Amazon Registry

Target Registry

Trip One, Day One- Getting There!

Over the next several days I will post all about our first trip to meet our girl!! She is amazing- even more beautiful than her pictures, which I didn't think was possible.

The first day of our trip was April 30th and May 1st. It all felt like one day because of the time changes! We packed surprisingly light- our clothes fit in one suitcase and all the donations we brought for Hannah's Hope fit in the bigger suitcase. We were surprised, because I can't seem to take only one bag when we go away for the weekend!

Our dear friend Ally and her girls dropped us off at the Nashville airport. It was surreal, I couldn't believe we were finally going to Ethiopia! I had seen so many families taking pictures like this one, and now it was our turn!

Off to Africa!

Our plane rides consisted of Nashville to Detroit (about 1 hour), Detroit to Amsterdam (about 8 hours) and Amsterdam to Addis Ababa with a stop in Khartoum, Sudan for refueling (8 and a half hours). The time difference from Nashville to Addis is 8 hours, so we were definitely feeling "off" the whole trip- On our flight to Amsterdam we ate dinner around 7 pm and had breakfast about 3 hours later! We ordered vegetarian meals on our flights and had mostly good food. The good thing about ordering special meals is that you get your food before everyone else!

Headed to Detoit

Fountain at Detroit Airport

Amsterdam Airport- This place had everything!!

Our plane to Ethiopia

Getting comfortable for the next LONG leg of our journey

Khartoum, Sudan- Our first glimpse of Africa!

Almost there!

When we finally landed in Addis Ababa, we quickly walked to the customs line. We had already purchased our visas before we left, so we only had to wait in one line instead of two. Customs took about 30 minutes, and then we were off to pick up our luggage! We were worried that the customs officers would stop us to inspect all the donations that we brought, but they waived us right through! One of Chris's dreams came true then because we saw a driver from our hotel holding a sign with our names on it. Chris has always wanted to see someone waiting with a sign to pick him up from an airport!

The driver then took us for a life-threatening exciting drive to the hotel. There are hardly any traffic laws in Ethiopia and people just dart in front of cars, even in the middle of the night! Quite scary to say the least.

When we arrived at the hotel, it was almost like an out-of-body experience for me. I had seen this hotel on so many families' blogs, I just couldn't believe we were staying here too! The hotel was so nice, especially all the staff! They welcomed us warmly and helped us with our bags up to our room! We were so surprised at the quality of our room- a nice big bed, beautiful furniture, and a super fancy bathroom! We really got a kick out of the "fancy pink clamshell" toilet.

At the end of our first day, we settled down and tried to get some sleep. Tomorrow we would be meeting our daughter!